Topic Overview

You may choose to wait until your child is a toddler (ages 1 to 2 years) or older to wean him or her from the breast. You may feel that your toddler is not ready for weaning until later or that you both are not ready. You may want to initiate it or just let your child stop breast-feeding on his or her own (self-wean).

One way to let a toddler control his or her own weaning is through the "don't offer, don't refuse" method. This means that you never offer to breast-feed your child but do not refuse when your child asks or shows a desire to breast-feed.

This can be a slow process. But when the mother is committed to weaning and provides encouragement to her child, a toddler can wean himself or herself successfully and happily.

The following techniques may help you gradually wean your toddler:

• Make your breasts less available for nursing. Stop wearing nursing clothing such as nursing bras and tops with nursing slits. Wear more layers of clothing, or wear clothing that is less easily adapted to nursing. The toddler may demand to nurse less often because of the lack of easy access. This technique is usually combined with other techniques.
• Shorten each breast-feeding session before stopping it completely. A toddler may just need a minute or two at the breast, more for comfort than for food. When the toddler has had a minute or two, urge the child to stop and interest him or her in something else.
• Postpone breast-feeding sessions. Tell your toddler that he or she can nurse later, such as after you finish preparing dinner. This will space out sessions until you can eventually postpone a whole nursing session until the next one. It may also allow your toddler to become distracted before the breast-feeding ever begins.
• Substitute food, drinks, or comfort for breast-feeding. If your child still uses breast-feeding as a primary way of satisfying hunger or thirst, be ready with other foods and drinks (milk or water is better than juice because of the high sugar content of juice) before your child asks to breast-feed. If he or she is not hungry or thirsty, encourage the use of a comfort object, such as a stuffed animal, blanket, or doll, and offer it often. Also substitute close cuddling without breast-feeding. A child may fear that weaning means losing that comforting sense of being held.
• Distract your toddler. Make life so interesting and busy that your toddler forgets to ask to breast-feed. Read a book to your toddler while holding him or her on your lap (which provides close contact), or suggest a walk or ride on a tricycle or a trip to a playground or sandbox. Distractions can be time-consuming but are very effective.